Henry and John Chatfield were room mates in Eliot House when at Harvard, Class of 1955. In 1980, when John’s daughter, Abigail McIntosh Chatfield was born, Henry was asked to be her godfather. He accepted this responsibility with joy, and always remembered Abigail on her birthday and at Christmas. Therefore, when it was time for her to marry, she wrote to Henry (via e-mail conveyed by satellite, since we were traveling around the world) to announce her wedding plans and to also ask Henry to be present at her wedding. The two of us talked about it, yet had no idea where we would be in the world in August, 2010. We also thought it would be difficult to fly from Asia, where we were then traveling,  back to America for this event, so answered that we didn’t think we’b be able to attend. Somehow, while we were in Africa, Henry and I both awoke on the same day, sharing the sudden revelation that we MUST be at B’s wedding! Each of us had come to the same conclusion that we couldn’t dare miss this important moment in B’s life. From that point on, organizing our travels from Morocco to the south of France and Italy, then to Paris and Scandinavia worked like a charm. Our new focus gave us the parameters that helped us create a perfect summer that would also include an American sojourn. Imagine returning to home shores after more than three years! And, more important, imagine being in the presence of dear friends and family, all of whom we have missed during our travels abroad. When Henry and I “showed up” at the Bridal Dinner, held at Camden’s Golf Club, we were greeted by Abigail with the biggest of bear hugs imaginable! How marvelous to see her beaming and so much in love! We were thrilled to be able to participate in this splendid event. Henry added his two cents to the toasts and roasts of the bride and groom during dinner, when he recited his poem: Advice to Young Grooms*, which delighted the assembled guests as we enjoyed a traditional meal of Maine lobster. The bride’s parents read from the archives of the bride. John read a letter written home from camp when B was only eight years old. However, the most amazing revelation was read by her mother, Jane. This was a list B had also written at the age of eight, where, on the pages of a small spiral tablet, she had enumerated the qualities she wanted in her future husband. Included in this list: he must have good skin, good hair, and be sexy. How amazing. The list was quite lengthy. And, judging by outward appearances, she has been granted  her ”dream man” and he has  chosen well!

*ADVICE TO YOUNG GROOMS by Henry Steinway Ziegler, 2008

At the start of your marriage,

Quite early in life,

You may feel the urge

To mince words with your wife.

Believing she cares

If you’re wrong or you’re right;

You will win on the logic

But lose in the fight.

And soon you will learn,

Your growing distress,

That the better you argue

The worse your success.

So forget all the logic

They taught you in school,

And learn to abide

By the following rule:

(It may seem confusing

at the very beginning)

But winning is losing

And losing is winning.

PHOTOS: Left Column: 1. John Chatfield reading B’s letter written from summer camp when she was only 8 years old.  2. The bridegroom, Sam, listening intently to Henry’s poem: Advice to Young Grooms. 3. Parents of the bride, John and Jane Chatfield, reacting to Henry’s poetic recitation.  Center, Top: Abigail Chatfield, beaming as a bride, receiving her Maine lobster  at the  dinner party.  Center, Bottom: Sam , the groom, and friends look toward Abigail’s brother, Andrew, who is giving his toast to the couple. Right Column: 1. Henry, lobster bib still tied around his neck, reciting his poem: Advice to Young Grooms. 2. Jane, reading from the archives of her daughter, B: a list of what she (at the age of 8) wanted in her future husband.